


Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-17
Updated: 2012-03-17
Packaged: 2017-11-02 02:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas returns from the dead--again--but doesn't remember Dean. Doesn't remember being an angel, falling from Heaven, stopping the apocalypse, releasing the Leviathans. All he knows is he's fallen in love with Dean and that Dean loves him. But truth be told, Dean loves who Cas used to be, and Cas only loves what he's learned of Dean in the recent months. Dean decides they need to fix that, and locks them in their hotel room until they're no longer strangers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> More of a drabble than an actual fic, this is an idea I've been playing with for weeks based on the Bon Jovi/Leann Rimes song of the same name. Of course, I was only speculating Cas would come back without memories, but the promo for 7.17 sort of spurred me to actually write this since apparently I was at least partly right.

The one thing Dean Winchester had been utterly unprepared for in his life was for Castiel to return from the dead and not remember him. Well...he also hadn’t been prepared for Castiel to jump his bones first chance he got. Though, Cas couldn’t be entirely to blame for that one. If Dean hadn’t wanted it, it wouldn’t have happened. But part of him hoped that, if they took that step, Cas would suddenly remember everything. Remember that they weren’t there in their relationship, hell, remember that they didn’t even have a relationship yet. 

Don’t get him wrong though, Dean loved the sex. He’s Dean. He loves all kinds of sex. But he wanted his Castiel back. _His_ Castiel. Not this one that was so content to just be his bedmate. Because even though it was admittedly kind of hard to be that, they found it harder to try to be friends. Cas didn’t know Dean’s tones when he was joking anymore, didn’t know the facial cues that Dean would give when he was trying to imply something, didn’t know anything anymore.

When Dean finally decided he’d had enough of Castiel not knowing him, he pulled the angel into their shared motel room, slid the deadbolt and chained the door. He killed the lights, lit a few candles and pulled back the covers on the bed. He motioned for Cas to join him, but shook his head when Cas made to undress.

“Just come lie down with me, would you?”

Cas looked at him confusedly, but obliged. He lay his head on the pillow next to Dean, and Dean opened his mouth to speak but found he couldn’t figure out what to say yet. He sat up and leaned against the headboard, thinking. Castiel stayed where he was, and finally, Dean found his words.

“Look, Cas, I know you don’t remember anything. I know it’s been a few months and you don’t remember and that means things don’t look good as far as you remembering anything. But that doesn’t mean we have to be strangers, right?” He paused, looking down at Cas who was pointedly looking anywhere but at Dean. “Just look at me, Cas. Look at me until we’re not strangers anymore. Just...look at me like you used to.”

Cas finally turned his eyes to Dean before sitting up and scooting away, never looking away from Dean. They sat in silence and just stared at each other. Dean was looking at Cas like a drowning man looking at the only piece of driftwood that could save him, and Cas was looking at Dean like a child trying to figure out the missing piece of their puzzle.

After a while, Castiel spoke. “I know it isn’t easy. You love me as I used to be, not as I am now. Don’t try to say that isn’t true,” he warned when he saw Dean’s mouth open. “I can tell. You look at me when you think I don’t see, and all that is on your face is heartache, but your eyes still have that flicker of hope.” He turned his gaze to Dean’s hands before reaching out and taking one in his. “But you should know it’s not easy for me to love you either. I love you as you are now. I don’t know anything of your past. I don’t know if the man you were, if the actions you have against you would affect how I feel about you now. I’m at a disadvantage as much as you are here. Please, try to understand that.”

Dean nodded, understanding flooding through him. He never really thought of it that way. Cas only knew whatever little bits he’d been filled in on in the recent months. He had to rebuild from stone one, and stone one was whatever Dean had decided it was. It wasn’t fair to Cas and it wasn’t fair to Dean either, especially if Casteil only loved him since he didn’t really know him.

He reached over and pulled Cas toward him, lying down and dragging Castiel close so his head was on Dean’s chest. “Just hold me then, while I tell you everything. Hold me close until we’re not strangers anymore.”

And so Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, tucked his head under his chin and listened. Dean told him everything, from his first hunt with his father, to the day he took Sam away from Stanford, to the day he went to Hell. He told Cas about the first time they ever met, reciting every last word of the conversation. He told him about the start of the apocalypse, about their first real fight, about how Sam stopped the apocalypse. He told Cas about Sam coming back soulless, about how Cas’d worked with Crowley behind Sam and Dean’s backs, about the Leviathans. He told him that he’d forgiven him a long time ago for all of that. He told him how he died, how they went on fighting, how Bobby died getting them information, how Sam went nutso. And he told him how he felt more broken than he ever had before when Castiel had looked at him and not known him.

He didn’t leave out a single memory, not one good or bad moment. He talked until there was no more to tell. And Cas didn’t pull away once. He just held on tighter at some points, let tears fall at others, laughed out loud at a few. Finally, he pulled away, sitting up partway and hovering over Dean’s face.

“Tell me one more thing, Dean,” he said softly. “Look into my eyes and tell me who you see. Tell me if you still see the person you’re in love with, or if you’d rather I walk out the door and get my own room.”

Dean looked deep into Castiel’s eyes, not blinking once. Slowly, his eyes shut and he let out a shaky breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. His eyes opened again and he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s mouth before pulling away and whispering, “Make love with me, baby, til we ain’t strangers anymore.”

Castiel smiled against Dean’s mouth and decided that even though he didn’t remember Dean, he was certainly going to enjoy getting to know him. Dean smiled too, deciding that if he really loved Cas, he’d love him with or without his memories. They were slow and methodic that night in bed, memorizing every inch of each others’ bodies, and when they woke in the morning, they felt as if they’d known each other for their entire lives. Despite everything, they weren’t strangers anymore.


End file.
